Hello everyone. So life as a hairdresser has been so weird with COVID. I am now going on 9 months of overheating myself during blow dries, daily cancellations due to school or work exposures, dried hands due to all the sanitizers and yelling over my mask. All that is truly making me question my career or if I just like the thrill of torture. The only thing that has been keeping me coming back is the friendships with clients that I have built over the years. Let’s be honest the other thing that keeps me going is really not wanting to be home. Not wanting to be home has a dramatic long backstory but I will keep short and sweet. My dad died at the house I live in 6 months ago and without him here it’s like living in his cold tomb where we are all strangers with a prior life. With my dad being gone 90% of the time living seems completely pointless. I can’t laugh with him, talk to him, Bitch to him, watch pointless shit with him and love him like I always did. I feel like having someone that is all those things and having them gone sucks. It’s truly like a volcano erupting and demolishing everything and trying to turn ash to gold. I didn’t realize that when someone dies that your relationship with everyone around you changes too. You went from being close to walking on egg shells 24-7 because you are all in different stages of grief or maybe not even grieving at all.
Another funny thing that no one tells you when your parent dies unexpectedly is that you have no compass on where to turn when they have no will, no money, just bills and their death certificate. They always say with life insurance blah blah blah. Well guess what that was not the situation I was in. Which I am truly pissed about because I don’t know what I’m signing myself up for or what the hell I am even doing. I have to pay someone $$$ to tell me what I have to do since Google can’t even help me because its so complicated. Fortunately I’m not alone I have my brother so we can have 2 brains dealing with this shitstorm compared to one. I also have my little sister who just wants life normal. Truthfully that’s the only motivation I have. Looking back I miss my old life before August 18th. Since then I am a changed person and I can’t even tell you if it’s for the better or for the worst. My fiancé keeps me centered by keeping me on my toes and his calmness. If I didn’t have that I would be a series of tornados in my own life.Lastly, I’m trying to wedding plan and make a wedding happen. It’s not stressful it’s just laughable like why would I wanna spend $5000 to use your grass to get married. Weddings are a party and that’s how I’m viewing this wedding planning to make it easier. I have had a lot of help from my fiancé’s mom. No seriously without her brain, creativity and just positivity I probably would have pulled a Britney and shaved my head. But overall everyone has been supportive and I haven’t heard I am making the biggest mistake of my life so I guess this is one decision in my life that I have made right the first time. Go me! Well that’s all I have till tomorrow.
LIFE OF ASHLEY 